Pairing: Spike/Angel
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Spike and Angel in the future.
Disclaimer: Don’t own anything except student loans, so don’t sue me.
Advertisement: Part of the Slash Advent Calendar of 2003.
Note: The title of this is stolen from the Pink Floyd song “On the Turning Away” from the album Momentary Lapse of Reason.
Beta: Silvertedy, as always.

Fireworks erupted randomly across the city, revelers roamed the streets. It was one big celebration, the turn of another century. Angel stepped on to the roof and gently closed the access door. Spike was standing at the edge of the roof, staring at the city before him.

Spike knew Angel was behind him, but neither man wanted to be the first to speak. The two of them stood silently, each wondering how he’d managed to survive another 100 years and nearly as many apocalypses. So much had changed for them -- both had begun their human lives before electricity and now there was space travel and teleportation and cures for once fatal diseases.

But in all the years of their existence, people hadn’t really changed -- neither had vampires, they adapted as they always had.

Angel walked forward and touched Spike’s shoulder and Spike reached up to join their hands.

“You left the party.”

“So did you.”

...

“Needed some peace and quiet.”

“Not so quiet up here.”

“No, but it’s a different kind of noise.”

“Yeah, it is.”

Angel moved closer, molding his body to Spike’s, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“Do you enjoy this anymore?”

“What’s that?”

“The new year, the passage of time, watching the people you care about die, watching the world change?”

“There are things I miss, people I miss. But there are constants, too. I once told someone that this place wasn’t much different than my home in Ireland -- I still believe that.”

“You’re my constant, there’s nothing else here for me anymore.”

Angel held Spike tighter.

“The new year holds nothing but sorrow for me.”

“It doesn’t have to.”

“How can you say that when you’re going to watch me grow old and die? You should hate me for stealing your prophecy. I should be dust and you should be human.”

“What happened was meant to be.” Angel turned Spike to face him.

“I don’t--“

Angel stopped him with a kiss, then licked the tear from his cheek.

“Angel,” he whispered.

“Shh, let me take care of you.... Let me love you now like you never could before.”

“S-sire.”

“No, not anymore.” Angel ran his hands up and down Spike’s back, soothing him, relaxing him. “Let me love you.”

“Make me yours again.”

“My love.”

“Your childe.” Spike’s voice was soft but firm, demanding.

“You can’t really want that. Your soul.”

“You’re my soul now and I can’t bear the thought of dying, old and alone.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“No, you won’t. But eventually I’ll leave you.”

“Spike.”

“Turn me.”

...

“Please, Angel. Please. I can’t live like this. If you don’t turn me, I’ll...”

“What? You’ll what?”

“I’ll find someone else who will.”

“No, you won’t.”

Silence.

“You couldn’t. It means to much to you.”

Sigh. “Fine. I wouldn’t. But I won’t go on like this. I can’t.”

“Spike. This is a gift, how can you not be happy?”

“It hurts, Angel. You don’t understand. More than 200 years as a vampire, there are certain things you become accustomed to. Sweating, pissing, breathing -- these are things I didn’t miss, and I don’t want them now. Hell, I can’t bear the sound of my heart beating. After so many years of silence, it’s deafening. I lay down to sleep and it’s all I can hear -- pounding in my chest, throbbing in my ears.”

“It means you’re alive.”

“No. It means I’m food. Besides, there was only one person I ever wanted to be human for and she’s gone now.

Buffy. They held each other closer.

“Surely there are other things to live for, other people...”

Spike could hear the hope in Angel’s voice. “The only one I care about now is immortal.” Spike leaned back and looked hard at Angel. “Please? Sire?” Tears flowed freely down his face and Angel heard his pulse quicken as he whispered a final, “Please.”

Angel closed his eyes and nodded, resigned, “But we do this my way.”

He pulled away but took Spike’s hand and led him inside and to their room.

“You’re sure?”

Spike nodded.

“I don’t know what might happen. I’ve never done this since the soul. There’s no telling what you’ll be like when you wake up.”

“If there’s a problem, you’ll stake me.”

“Spike-- ”

“You’ll do it, Angel. And if I’m okay, except for the basic vamp evil, have Sela stick a soul on me. Red taught her well. Like mother, like daughter. Like sire, like childe. Right?”

“Spike-- ”

“Angel... please. This is all too much for me. Besides... it was meant for you, not me.”

They stood silently, hands clasped, next to the bed. After a few minutes, Spike pulled Angel down with him as he sank to the bed. They lay side by side for a moment until Spike kissed Angel and woke him from his daze. “Make me whole again, Angel,” he whispered.

Angel responded -- kissing back, running his fingers through Spike’s hair and down his back, pulling him closer. Spike pulled Angel’s shirt up and ran his hands up Angel’s chest to pinch his nipples.

“Mmm, Spike,” he hissed as he slid his hands down to cup Spike’s ass.

“Angel,” Spike panted. “Want you. Want you now. Please.” He pushed away from Angel and pulled of his shirt and then reached for his pants. Angel smiled as he watched his lover deftly strip out of his clothes and then turn and reach for Angel’s zipper. Angel let Spike undress him and then took control of things.

He flipped Spike onto his back and hovered over him, kissing his way down from Spike’s lips, pausing to nip at his nipples and abdomen, then to tongue his navel, before placing a teasing kiss on the tip of his cock. He ran his tongue down Spike’s length then gently sucked his balls into his mouth, rolling them with his lips and tongue. Then without warning he released them and swallowed Spike to the root.

Spike moaned and thrust his hips up. “Angel,” he breathed. “Oh... unh.... unnnhhh... So good.”

Angel’s hand came up expectantly. Spike reached for the lube on the nightstand and passed it to him while Angel continued working him with his mouth. Angel quickly slicked his fingers and without warning slid two inside Spike, nearly pushing him over the edge.

“God, Angel. Need you in me. Need you now.” Spike was panting and pushing back, fucking himself on Angel’s hand. With his free hand, Angel reached up and squeezed the base of Spike’s cock as he pushed another finger into his lover. Spike screamed and threw back his head baring his neck.

“Please, Sire, please. Fuck me... drink... do something. I need to feel you.”

Angel released Spike from the teasing of his mouth and hands and slid up his body. He lifted and spread Spike’s legs and leaned in for a kiss. “I love you,” he whispered as he slid home in one smooth thrust.

Angel had intended for their lovemaking to be slow, but Spike’s flesh was too tempting. Their passion drove them faster and faster to the edge. As Spike felt himself getting close, he locked eyes with Angel. “Do it,” he said before baring his neck.

Angel closed his eyes for a moment, but did not break the rhythm of their lovemaking. He said a silent prayer to the Powers, Please let this end well, and then opened his eyes. He leaned down and ran his tongue along Spike’s neck, tasting the sweat on his skin, feeling the blood rushing below the surface, it was intoxicating. He let himself shift, felt his fangs elongate and then gently sink into Spike’s neck as the rest of him sank into his flesh from head to toe. He drank deep and tasted Spike approaching climax at the same time that his life was draining out of him. Just as Spike was about to come, Angel pulled back and sliced his own chest just above his unbeating heart. He pressed Spike’s mouth to the wound. “Drink,” he whispered.

As Spike swallowed Angel’s blood, both men were driven over the edge and then Spike blacked out. Angel held him as he felt his lover’s life slip away. He cried himself to sleep, hoping that all would be right in the morning.

Angel slept for several hours before a stirring in his arms woke him. “Spike?”

Spike moved slightly, but something was not right. He was warm and Angel thought he felt a very faint thrum of blood in Spike’s body. His heart was beating.

“Spike?... Spike!?”

Suddenly, Spike took a deep, gasping breath and his eyes flew open.

“Angel?” Spike was shaking, he looked at Angel with obvious fear in his eyes. “Angel? What’s happened?”

“I don’t know. I drained you, you drank from me, you were dead. You were dead.”

Tears flowed freely down Spike’s face. “No. I don’t want to be alive. I want to be with you forever.”

“Maybe this means you will be.” Angel rocked Spike in his arms.

The End